Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy

You don’t have to wait until your trauma feels “bad enough” to work through it.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a trauma therapy designed to help the brain process experiences that continue to feel unresolved.

During EMDR, we gently bring attention to a memory, feeling, belief, or experience while using bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping. You remain awake, aware, and in control throughout the process.

EMDR isn’t about erasing memories or convincing yourself that what happened was okay. The goal is for the past to feel more like the past, so that old experiences have less power over how you see yourself and respond in the present.

“Why do I still feel this way?”

Sometimes you understand exactly why you feel the way you do, but knowing where it comes from hasn’t made it go away. You might know you aren’t responsible for everyone’s feelings, but still feel guilty when you say no. You might know you’re allowed to make mistakes, but still panic when you think you’ve disappointed someone. Or you may understand that something happened a long time ago while your body still reacts as if it’s happening now.

These patterns can develop from experiences that were clearly traumatic, but they can also come from things that are easier to minimize: criticism, emotional neglect, rejection, instability, religious shame, having to grow up too quickly, or learning that certain parts of you weren’t welcome.

EMDR helps us work with more than what you logically know. The goal is to help painful experiences become something you can remember without continuing to feel defined or controlled by them.

“The past affects the present even without our being aware of it.”

Francine Shapiro

What can EMDR help with?

People come to EMDR for many different reasons. You might notice that you:

  • know something logically but can’t seem to feel it

  • carry shame or guilt that is difficult to let go of

  • feel responsible for other people’s emotions

  • struggle with people pleasing or setting boundaries

  • constantly worry that you did something wrong

  • have difficulty trusting yourself

  • shut down, go numb, or disconnect when overwhelmed

  • feel easily rejected, criticized, or abandoned

  • struggle with perfectionism or feeling like you have to get things right

  • understand your childhood differently as an adult but still feel affected by it

  • carry painful messages from religion, family, relationships, or past abuse

EMDR can be used with experiences ranging from a single traumatic event to more complicated patterns that developed over many years.

What if I don’t think my trauma was “bad enough”?

You don’t need to have one life-changing event or identify with the word “trauma” for EMDR to be helpful.

Some of the experiences that affect us most are repeated, subtle, or difficult to name. Maybe your needs were consistently dismissed. Maybe love or approval felt conditional. Maybe you learned to manage other people’s emotions, hide parts of yourself, or stay small to avoid conflict. Maybe religion taught you to fear your thoughts, body, sexuality, or identity.

You may even look back and think, “Other people had it worse,” or “It really wasn’t that bad.”

We don’t have to decide whether an experience was objectively bad enough. If something from your past is still connected to shame, fear, guilt, self-doubt, or patterns that make your life harder today, we can be curious about it.

What does EMDR actually look like?

EMDR is more than jumping into a difficult memory and moving your eyes back and forth.

We start by getting to know you, understanding what brings you to therapy, and identifying the experiences and patterns that may be connected to what you’re struggling with now. We’ll also talk about what helps you feel grounded and what you need when things feel overwhelming.

Together, we develop a plan for what you want to work on. When you’re ready to begin reprocessing, I’ll guide you through the process in small pieces while checking in along the way.

Some people notice memories, emotions, thoughts, body sensations, images, or unexpected connections. Others notice very little at first. There isn’t a correct way to experience EMDR, and you don’t have to force something to happen for it to “work.”

The 8 Phases on EMDR

EMDR follows eight phases that give us a roadmap for treatment. Please note this is not a rigid checklist, and we may move back and forth between phases depending on what you need.

PHASE 1: HISTORY TAKING
We’ll explore what brings you to therapy, important experiences from your past, and patterns that may be affecting you today. Together, we’ll decide what you want to work on.

PHASE 2: PREPARATION/RESOURCING
You’ll learn what to expect from EMDR, explore different forms of bilateral stimulation, and develop ways to stay grounded and supported during the process.

PHASE 3: ASSESSMENT
We’ll identify the memory or experience we’re working with and the thoughts, emotions, and body sensations connected to it.

PHASE 4: DESENSITIZATION
Using bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, you’ll notice what comes up as your brain begins processing the experience and making new connections.

PHASE 5: INSTALLATION
We’ll strengthen a more helpful belief about yourself that feels connected to what you’ve processed.

PHASE 6: BODY SCAN
We’ll check in with your body and notice whether any distress related to the experience remains.

PHASE 7: CLOSURE
Before ending the session, we’ll help you feel grounded and contained. You don’t have to finish processing a memory in a single session.

PHASE 8: RE-EVALUATION
We’ll check back in on what we worked on, notice what has changed, and decide together where to go next.

FAQ’S

  • No. EMDR doesn’t require you to share every detail of an experience for us to work with it. You’re always in control of what you choose to share, and we can focus on what you’re noticing without asking you to tell the whole story.

  • That’s okay. You don’t need a clear or complete timeline of your childhood to do EMDR. We can start with what you do remember, experiences happening in your life now, or patterns and beliefs that keep showing up. We’ll work with what’s available rather than trying to force memories to surface.

  • This is something we can work with. You might need more time, shorter periods of bilateral stimulation, different questions, or more support staying connected to the present. Going blank or feeling disconnected isn’t a sign that you’re doing EMDR wrong. We’ll pay attention to what your system is telling us and adjust the process together.

  • You don’t need to come to therapy knowing exactly what to target. We’ll look together at what’s bothering you now and explore experiences from your past that may be connected. Sometimes there’s an obvious memory, and other times we notice a pattern across many smaller experiences. Treatment planning is something we do together and can continue to adjust as new connections emerge.

  • There isn’t one timeline that fits everyone. It depends on what you want to work on, your history, and how your individual processing unfolds. A single experience may take less time to work through, while longstanding patterns or childhood trauma may involve multiple memories and need a longer course of therapy. We’ll regularly check in about your progress rather than expecting you to follow a predetermined timeline.